* U.S.: Vengeance Will Be Ours
Fallujah, Iraq--The day after the grisly murder of four U.S. civilian contractors, an unpleasant reminder of another abject foreign policy failure in Somalia, Administration and military officials promised that America would take its revenge on the people of Fallujah. Though American troops did not enter the city on Thursday, they awaited but the command to visit the "overwhelming" punishment which the godless darkies so obviously deserve.
Brigadier General Mark Kimmit promised that the retribution would be swift, effective, and at a time and place of America's choosing. "We were thinking maybe early next week? We'll let you guys know. Oh, but, no cameras."
"The murderers and their friends and families and neighbors and people they sort of know, all of them, all will pay," cackled L. Paul Bremer, unelected major domo for the occupied territories, from his secret mountain lair. "Our justice will be swift and thoroughly destructive. The people of Lidice will long rue the day they dared cross L. Paul Bremer!"
"Uh, did I say Lidice? I mean Fallujah. Sorry."
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CROSSWORD PUZZLE REPORT
* Kind Of Credit: EXTRA
* Book Containing Legends: ATLAS
* Jack-Tar: GOB